The Contest
by gawilliams
Summary: Carter and Frasier enlist Jack's help in settling a little argument.
1. Chapter 1

_This one is purely for fun and totally out of character. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Come on, Sam!" Janet Frasier dragged her best friend to the door of Colonel Jack O'Neill's home. "You promised, and we'll have a lot of fun!"

Major Sam Carter agreed with her that it would be a lot of fun _**if**_ the Colonel agreed to go along with this, but what if he _**didn't**_? They'd be court martialed! She said as much to Janet.

"What sane man would turn this down, Sam?" Janet chuckled lustfully. "And I can assure you, the Colonel is _**all MAN**_."

Now Sam Carter was no shrinking violet by any means. In the last six years at the SGC she had had her fair share of casual lovers, usually a simple weekend fling when they had a few days of down time. That didn't mean she was some nymphomaniac who went trolling for guys every weekend. But a couple of times a year when the urge hit her, and her limit of being around the Colonel with no relief of the sexual tension between them in sight had been reached, she would go out and take care of that tension and her natural urges. It was fun, anonymous, and let her continue to work and have some hope for something with the Colonel at some point in the future. Janet's comment about Jack O'Neill being _**all MAN**_ sent a shiver through her body and a rush of moisture between her legs.

"Okay," she agreed with a nod. She looked over at her best female friend and had to admit that Janet looked hot. Short black skirt, thigh his stockings, red blouse with the first few buttons undone showing off the nice cleavage that Janet had. Yeah, Jack was going to be aroused at that. She herself was dressed the same, but with a light blue blouse. Taking a deep breath she rang the doorbell.

Jack O'Neill was bored out of his skull. The hockey game was a bust as his team was playing horribly and getting blown out. Space Monkey and T were off world on some science BS that Danny Boy had been blabbing about for weeks. And to top it all off Carter had told him she had plans that weekend so even a little company for the game was out. He wasn't stupid. He knew that when Carter said she had plans it either meant she was giving a lecture at the Academy, or it was one of those once or twice a year occasions she thought he didn't know about. He _**hated**_ those (and wanted to beat the crap out of the losers she spent _**those**_ times with), but he wasn't willing to put her career on the line by suggesting that they fuck the regs and be together. It _**sucked**_ being an honorable guy with _**some**_ integrity. Just as he was thinking about possibly going to the shooting range the doorbell rang.

"Probably some whack jobs saying the world is going to Hell," he muttered. He didn't hate people like that, and respected groups like the Jehovah's Witnesses who stood by their beliefs and lived what they preached, but he just didn't want to be bothered with it all. If the world was fucked he already knew _**exactly**_ who would be doing the fucking. He got to the door and opened it, staring in shock at the sight of the two beautiful women that were standing there. _**OH MY GOD!**_

"Carter?" he managed to squeak. "Doc?" He gulped, trying to catch his breath. They looked sexy as Hell!

"Can we come in?" Frasier took the bull by the horns. She had noticed that Sam was staring at the Colonel in appreciation of the man. O'Neill was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt that was practically molded to his firm torso and abs, and his black, low slung jeans were also pretty delicious looking.

"Uh...sure!" Jack said haltingly. He could feel a stirring downstairs and he willed himself a little self control. Getting slapped with a sexual harassment charge wouldn't be a good thing, even if it was in his own damn living room! "So, uh, evening out on the town?" he asked when he sat in his recliner and the ladies sat across from him on the couch. His more lecherous mind enjoyed the view of their long legs reaching up and into the short skirts.

"Actually, we have a question we want settled," Frasier told him. She was going to love seeing the reaction when she told him exactly _**what**_ question they had.

Jack raised a brow. "Okay," he said slowly, and a bit uncertainly. He was thinking he was being set up for something, but this was Carter and Frasier.

"We were having a discussion and couldn't come to any real conclusion, and the fact is that a man is needed to give an honest opinion," Sam explained.

"Oh?" Jack's brow raised even higher. "And just what was that?"

"We were arguing over which of us gives the best blowjobs," Frasier said bluntly and without a hint of modesty.

Jack's jaw was about on the floor and he was pinching himself to see if this was real. He was also wondering if Space Monkey had snuck in on the sly before leaving on his mission and laced his Guinness with something. He raised the bottle to his nose and gave it a tentative sniff. Nope. It passed the old sniff test with flying colors. He was an expert on Guinness and could tell if even the slightest thing was off on his drink of choice. He gulped.

"It's a legitimate question," Carter said from where she was sitting. "Therefore we need a mans opinion."

"What Sam is trying to say is we want to suck your cock and after we've each had a turn you can tell us who is the best at giving blowjobs," Frasier explained in a blunt way, looking right at the growing bulge in O'Neill's pants. "You even get to see us naked while this is happening," she added a further incentive. As if having two women worshiping a guys cock with their hands, lips, and tongue wasn't enough incentive. She smirked at that thought. Men were so easy.

Jack was back to thinking he was hallucinating and it was all Space Monkey's fault. If this turned out to not be real he was going to _**so**_ kick Daniel's ass. He couldn't take the chance that this was real, though, and miss out on the offer of a lifetime. He may have some scruples and integrity, but he was only human here!

"Any touching?" he asked, his voice still a couple of octaves too high.

"Well it wouldn't be fair if we could give you a blowjob and you couldn't touch us," Sam said, a smile on her face. This may be way out of character for her, but she wasn't going to pass up the chance to be intimate with the Colonel. As for Janet, she knew that her friend was much more of a sex fiend than she was, so Sam was sure that Janet would be more than alright with the Colonel touching them.

"While one is blowing you, the other will be right next to you talking dirty and letting you feel her up," Janet told him. "_**Thoroughly**_."

"I'm in!" Jack said instantly, Junior straining against the tight confines of his jeans. "_**Definitely**_ kill Space Monkey if this isn't real," he muttered. Then he looked up at the ladies. "Uh, just when is this little contest?" he asked.

"Right now," Sam told him, a smoldering look in her eyes as she saw the bulging tent in his pants. Her nipples were almost painfully hard and erect with excitement.

Jack gulped. He shot up out of his chair. "Give me fifteen minutes!" he said and shot down the hall at breakneck speed.

Janet and Sam laughed when they heard the shower come on and heard Jack singing "_Oh Happy Day!_" at the top of his lungs. This would be an interesting contest.

_A/N: I have the concluding chapter written, but wanted to break the story up into two parts. The final chapter will be posted tomorrow. As I said, this on is OOC, but I wanted to do something fun and kinky with these three characters. I hope you enjoyed the set up. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the great response to the first chapter to this one. I have, after a conversation with my good friend Alimoo1971 decided to use this chapter as the next to last chapter, do the conclusion in the next chapter, but add on several chapters which are all alternate endings. I hope that you will all enjoy this chapter which is the contest, and the original ending I had in mind. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Jack took the quickest shower on record, but then halted in his bedroom trying to decide how to go out to the living room. He still wasn't totally convince that this wasn't a hallucination because of something Space Monkey did, and he was definitely going to have his beer tested for any foreign chemicals, but he was going to enjoy this, real or not, for as long as it lasted. So. Starkers or clothed? Maybe just a towel around the waist? He hated it when he had to make such important decisions like this on the fly. It was so much easier in the field where you had the time to think things out and come to a good decision. Like whether to blow away some Jaffa or let bygones be bygones. See? Easy as pie. Blow the bastards away. But now he had to decide how to make a good impression. Okay. Clothed it is. Let the girls decide how to proceed.

When he came out he saw that the girls had not removed a stitch of clothing, but when they turned to him that had a lusty, almost feral expression on their faces. He almost joked about being a bit nervous, but he knew that this was one time not to be joking around. Not if he wanted to enjoy this and also keep Junior and The Boys safe. He'd read the stories of angry women who took out their anger on poor defenseless body parts. Not a fun thing to consider.

"So...uh...," he stammered, trying to figure out what to say. How pathetic. He was a Black Ops trained Colonel in the Air Force and he was tongue tied by two Majors he nominally was in command of within the chain of command. There were extenuating circumstances, though.

Janet and Sam looked at each other and smiled in amusement. To see Jack O'Neill this flustered was a rare treat. Janet decided to take the lead, at least for now.

"Very nice, Colonel," she admired his outfit. Khaki slacks, blue button down shirt that was tightly fit to his toned frame with the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows, and a pair of black, soft leather dress shoes. The man was a walking gigolo in her opinion, though she would never say that out loud. Even in grubby, field mussed BDU's the man was _**HOT**_. "Now sit down here on the couch while me and Sam get a bit more comfortable, and then we can begin the competition," she directed him.

Jack was no fool. He instantly went over and sat down on the couch, looking up at the two ladies with rapt attention. Real or not he wasn't going to screw this up. "Sweet!" he said with a wide grin.

Janet and Sam began to slowly remove their clothes. Jack watched with rapt attention as they removed their tops, leaving them in their skirts and bras. He was practically drooling at the sight. Sam, of course, had very good sized breasts, not overly large, but still big with the bra hugging them perfectly. Janet, on the other hand, had small breasts, but with her petite frame they were spectacular, her bra pushing them up a bit adding to the excitement of the image.

The girls smiled as they unzipped their skirts. Jack was running his eyes up and down their bodies and they were loving the attention. The straining bulge in his pants was exciting them, and they were looking forward to getting him out of his clothes and enjoying what he had to offer. The slid down their skirts and then each did a slow twirl showing off their bra and panty clad bodies. They knew that the thigh high stockings were a hit as Jack spent some time lingering on their legs. Then came the fun time.

"So, you want us naked for this, or leave the bra and panties on?" Janet asked, already knowing the answer.

"Naked!" Jack said without hesitation. He was no fool. Real or not, one time only or not, he wasn't about to let pass the opportunity of seeing these two beautiful women naked.

Janet and Sam smiled knowingly at each other. Men! But they loved it and while Janet removed her panties, Sam removed her bra. It added a sexy visual for Jack to see the girls remove one article from the other. His eyes widened when he saw Sam kneel down and remove Janet's panties, but was not surprised when the show ended at that. He noted that each was shaved bare and he licked his lips.

"So, you like, Colonel?" Sam asked, winking at Janet.

"No question there," Jack practically panted out. His breathing was becoming labored as he thought of all the things he'd love to do right now, but he maintained some self-control as he didn't want to ruin it.

"Stand up," Janet ordered as the two of them went over to Jack. Standing on one side of him while Sam stood on the other, she smiled. She ran her right hand up and down his back, while she let her left had move down and give his bulge a good feel. "I can hardly wait to feel this guy without anything on him," she said in a sultry voice. "He feels great, Sam."

Sam reached her hand down and gave him her own feel, loving the length and girth she was feeling, imagining him moving in and out of her, though she knew that that wouldn't be happening. But she was going to get to enjoy having that big cock in her mouth, tasting him and enjoying giving him pleasure.

"You're right, Jan," she said, her own sultry tone coming out, and a sexy smile on her lips as she looked over at her friend. "Now I think we need to get these bad, old clothes off of him so we can really see him, and then enjoy what he has to offer."

"Hey, enough with the old comments," Jack warned teasingly. He knew what she meant, but couldn't help but joke about something.

Sam gave him another good feel and sighed. "If this is old, I wish I could have done this when you were in your twenties," she teased right back. She imagined a very toned and hung Jack O'Neill in his twenties and shivered at the arousing images that produced.

Janet pulled out his shirt tails and Sam began to unbutton his shirt from the top, while Janet started on the bottom. They pushed back the unbuttoned shirt and admired the toned chest and abdomen, running their hands over him. Sam had dibs on the pants, though, and slid his pants and boxers down, her eyes widening when his cock came into view in all its glory. She licked her lips in anticipation of getting her turn with it. Standing up she grinned.

"You've been holding out, Jan," she chided good naturedly. "You've been seeing this incredible piece of manhood for years now in the infirmary and never said a word to hint at how great it is."

"Doctor/patient confidentiality, Sam," Janet chuckled. That was true, of course, but what girl would want to share the goods, even if it was only visual, with the occasional feel when an injury warranted it? Especially with as fine a specimen as the Colonel?

Jack, of course, was preening at the compliments that he was getting over Junior and the Boys. By the feel of their hands on his chest and abdomen he could also make a mental note to continue all those miserable crunches every morning and evening.

"Now why don't you sit down, Colonel, and we can get started," Janet said with a very sexy purr to her voice. She was more than ready to have a crack at that cock of his and demonstrate her oral skills.

"Works for me," Jack said as he sat down on the couch in the middle. He spread his legs and almost swallowed his tongue when Janet swooped down on her knees and leaned forward taking him in her hands and blowing hot air over him.

"And I'll be right here," Sam said with her own purr as she got on the couch next to Jack on her knees facing his seated profile, leaning forward and pressing her breasts against his arm. She moved her lips to his ears. "You ready for two totally awesome blowjobs?" she whispered in that same purr.

"You have to ask?" he asked incredulously, wanting nothing more than to feel the lips of one of these women to finally work their magic on him.

"Show him how well you suck cock, Jan," Sam told her friend, a naughty grin lighting her face and eyes. "And I'll let our boy toy get a good feel of me like he's always wanted to."

Jack's head lolled back as he felt Janet take him in her mouth and begin blowing him and about had a heart attack when he felt Sam move the hand trapped between her body and the couch to her ass and taking his free hand to her breast, giving his hand a squeeze letting him know she was ready for some hot groping and making out. He swore in his head that anyone who interrupted this would die a horribly painful death. Not even his Little Buddy Thor was exempt now.

_A/N: When I wrote this I had planned on having the whole scene as the chapter, but it seemed too long, at least in terms of how I like to write chapters, so I divided it in half. I plan on posting the concluding chapter tomorrow afternoon. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the responses to the last chapter. Here is the first half of the action itself. I hope you enjoy this one. As I mentioned in the note at the end of the previous chapter I will be posting several alternate endings, but this is the first part of the original scene. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Janet grinned as she leaned in and inhaled the masculine scent of the Colonel. Without a moment's hesitation she took the head of his cock in her mouth and began to slowly suckle the head while taking him in hand and slowly stroking his shaft, enjoying the feel of him. With her free hand she rolled his large balls in her palm, hefting them. Humming a bit, she began to really get into the blowjob she was giving him.

Sam groaned as the Colonel squeezed her breast, and then pinched her hard, erect nipple. The strong, calloused hand felt good, and the hand on her ass gave her a squeeze and then she moaned as she felt his fingers move through the cleft of her ass cheeks, teasing her tightest opening. She felt like a teenager getting felt up by her boyfriend, it felt so illicit, but so deliciously naughty! She leaned in and goaded him a bit.

"You like feeling me up, Jack?" she asked with a soft purr. "You like doing that while my best friend sucks your cock?"

"Oh, yeah!" Jack groaned, loving every incredible second of this. It was a struggle to keep from pinching himself over and over again to make sure it was real. He was still debating having his Guiness checked for any illicit hallucinogens. Whether this was real or not, if any were found Space Monkey was a dead man.

"Well, you know a woman is more than just her tits and ass, Jack," she continued to tease him. "We have a pussy, too, and I think mine could use some attention from those strong fingers of yours while Jan continues sucking you off."

Janet could hear what Sam was saying to the Colonel and she almost laughed. The prim and proper Samantha Carter could be a real dirty talking vixen when she wanted to be! Janet herself was more sexually outgoing than Sam, and couldn't wait to use her own talents of dirty talking on the Colonel while he spent time feeling her up. She also wanted to see Sam giving a blowjob. For some reason she'd always loved watching another woman giving head, and they were her favorite part of the pornos she owned and watched when Cassie was out with friends for the night. But she had work to do, so she increased her attentions on the cock moving in and out of her mouth as she bobbed her head more forcefully. Reaching down, she began to play with herself as she pleasured the Colonel.

Jack could barely reign in his own enthusiasm. Hearing Carter talk like that to him while he was getting a blowjob from the Doc was out of this world. When he got the green light to have a little fun with the Promised Land he almost lost it right then and there. Stretching his hand a bit he felt Carters folds, wet and ready for anything. He rubbed along the length of her slit and used her juices to give his fingers a bit more slide. Finally when he couldn't stand it any longer he dipped one finger in her opening and slid it inside of her. Damn she was tight!

"Oh, God, Jan, wait until you feel his fingers inside of you," Sam panted as she enjoyed the feel of the Colonel's thick, roughly textured finger inside of her. She rotated her hips, grinding herself down against his hand to add to her pleasure.

Instead of replying, Janet increased her speed and brought her other hand, which she'd been using to play with herself, to help stroke his shaft with her already stroking hand. She could already taste his pre-cum and knew he wasn't far away from giving her a tasty treat. Letting her eyes look up, she saw the Colonel working his lips and tongue on Sam's nipples, and Sam was looking down at her, a look of lust and pleasure on her face. Janet winked at her friend and then sped up her motions even more, focusing on the head of the Colonel's cock.

Jack could barely focus on anything as his attention was so expertly divided by the two wanton women he was with. He knew he was about to lose it, so he just let himself go and rapidly worked his finger, along with a second one, rapidly in and out of Carter, all the while ravishing her breasts with his mouth, paying particular attention to her nipples, loving the mewling squeals coming from her. He could tell she was beyond the point of really talking, so the dirty talking encouragement was mere babbling now, but with what the Doc was doing to his dick, he didn't care.

Janet sped up even further, her eyes on Sam and the trembling her friend was experiencing, telling her that Sam was about to orgasm. She began to hum around the Colonel's cock and focused all her attention on the head. Feeling him swell and lengthen, she groaned when he exploded in her mouth as she swallowed all he had to offer, loving the salty, creamy reward for her efforts. She sucked him off and brought him down from his orgasm as she watched him bring Sam down from hers. Sam had screamed his name loudly, and Jan knew she was in for a great time when they traded places.

"_Jesus!_" Jack exclaimed, throwing his head back and almost passing out. He pulled his fingers out of Carter and brought them to his mouth tasting her juices and smacking his lips.

"You look so hot doing that," Sam told him, her breath returning slowly. The small tremors coursing through her in the aftermath of the powerful orgasm she'd had made her shudder in pleasure. Whatever else could be said, the Colonel knew how to work a woman's body to perfection. She looked down at Janet. "Have fun on your end, Jan?" she asked knowingly.

"Almost as much fun as you had, Sam," Janet replied, chuckling. "You're going to enjoy your turn."

"Oh, I know I will," Sam said with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Ready for another one, Jack?" she asked saucily.

Jack looked at her incredulously. "Uh, I think I'm going to need a bit of a recovery time here, Carter," he told her, his voice in a slightly higher octave. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not some teenager anymore."

Sam leaned in to his ear. "Oh, I know you're all _**MAN**_, Sir," she breathed in a husky, sexy tone. She looked down where Janet was still knelt down stroking his flaccid member. "I can't wait to enjoy that cock of yours, Jack," she told him.

Janet finally stood up, almost reluctantly letting go of the impressive cock she'd just been enjoying. She went and quickly had a drink of water and came back out into the living room where Sam was now sitting next to Jack, almost fused to his side kissing him deeply. She smiled, knowing that Sam was more than willing to let loose a lot of the desires and tension that had been between the two for six years now. Jack, she noticed, was taking the opportunity to continue his manual reconnaissance of Sam's body, no doubt memorizing every curve, crevice, and erogenous zone on her. Making her way to them she sat down on the opposite side of the Colonel and pressed herself against that side of him.

Jack noticed that he had another naked woman pressed against him. "This is a wet dream come true!" he said as he released Sam from the kiss for a breath of air.

"And it's only half over, Colonel," Janet purred, winking at Sam who winked back. She moved her free hand to his chest and began her own little manual exploratory of him. There was no doubt about it. The man was incredibly fit and a fine specimen of man for a woman to run her hands over.

For the next half an hour the girls did their best to get Jack up and ready for the second round of the competition, and Jack was beginning to get frustrated. Sure, he wasn't a spring chicken anymore, but he had Carter **_and_** Frasier here **_naked_**! What guy, _no matter how old_, wouldn't be saluting to beat all Hell right now?

"This is _**so**_ embarrassing!" he groaned.

Janet decided to take matters in hand and get him up and ready. Leaning into his ear, she began whispering all sorts of dirty scenarios that he could have with Sam, with some of the naughtiest language she could come up with, and she had a very vivid sexual vocabulary. She glanced at Sam and winked. Looking down she saw the Colonel was hard as a rock.

"Now see how easy that was?" she teased the Colonel.

"You almost gave me a stroke, Doc," Jack said as his mind pictured all those awesome activities she'd whispered in his ear. He felt a firm hand on his dick and looked down to see Carter on her knees in front of him and giving him the beginnings of a hand job.

"Ready for round two, Sir?" Sam asked, a naughty tone in her voice, and a wink for him.

"As I'll ever be, Carter," he replied with a husky tone. He grinned as he turned to the pair of breasts next to him, his eyes focusing on the hard, erect nipples. Licking his lips he looked up at Frasier. "Ready for some attention, Doc?" he asked.

"Definitely," Janet said with a feral grow as she took his hand and pressed it to her right breast, and shifted her hips when she felt his other hand cupping her ass. She smiled down at Sam who was just then taking the Colonel's cock in her mouth. Time for another round of fun!

_A/N: Next up will be Sam's turn in the competition. Question. Who should Jack say wins? Sam? Janet? Both? I'm toying with a couple of possibilities and would love some suggestions. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry about the delay in getting this one done, but I wanted to spend some more time making sure that this scene was just the way that I wanted it. There will be a number of alternative epilogues showing different endings to this story ranging from the smut to the humorous. I hope you enjoy this scene. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Sam felt a wave of pleasure wash over her as she took Jack's cock into her mouth, tasting him for the first time. She let her eyes glance up and she felt her pussy twinge with excitement as she saw Jack slide one hand onto Jan's ass, his fingers moving into place to give Janet pleasure just like he had her a short time before. As she began to give Jack a blowjob, she thought back to how this all started that morning at her house.

_**Sam's House That Morning**_

_Sam Carter and Janet Frasier were having some coffee together talking about weekend plans. Both had been working hard the last couple of months and there was finally a lull in the workings of the SGC._

"_So, Sam, we have a three day weekend," Janet said with a sly smile. "Any ideas on what you're going to do?"_

_Carter sighed. She'd been getting more and more frustrated with all the sexual tension between her and the Colonel lately. "Nothing definite, but probably I'll go out and see if I can find a guy to have some fun with for the night," she replied._

"_You know, Sam, all you'd have to do is let the Colonel know you want him and he'd be seeing to your needs in a second," Janet told her. "Any girl would be crazy not to want to give that stud a ride."_

"_Then why don't you do him?" Sam asked curiously, though a certain level of jealousy shot through her at the idea of any woman other than herself being with Jack. She knew it wasn't fair considering what she got up to every few months or so, but who ever said jealousy was fair or rational? "You aren't in his direct chain of command."_

"_Don't think I haven't thought of it," Janet assured her. "I know what he's packing, after all."_

"_Don't remind me," Sam said bitterly. "You won't even tell me about what he has between his legs."_

_Janet chuckled. "Doctor/patient confidentiality, Sam," she told her friend. "How would you like it if I gave the Colonel the run down on your more intimate details?"_

"_At least he'd have something definite about me to jack off to," Sam grumbled. "At least tell me if he's well hung," she pleaded. That way if she didn't go out that night trolling for guys, she could have something to add to her fantasies when she masturbated._

"_Very well hung," Janet relented a bit. That wouldn't hurt. Then an idea suddenly struck her. She got a wicked grin on her face._

_Sam noticed the grin, and knew what it meant. "What are you thinking?" she asked._

"_How about we give the Colonel the experience of a lifetime?" Janet suggested._

"_I'm not into girls, Jan, so there's no way I'm going to make out with you in front of the Colonel," Sam told her, thinking that was what Janet was hinting at. Neither of them were into women, but at the same time they were each sexually adventurous and enjoyed making a lover happy. While she wasn't interested, Sam could still see herself _**considering**_ something like that in a totally anonymous situation. Not that Janet wasn't a beautiful woman, but it would be just too weird being around her almost daily in the aftermath._

"_No," Janet chuckled. "I wasn't suggesting that. Instead, how about we approach the Colonel asking him to settle an argument about which of us gives the better blowjob? What guy would say no to getting his cock sucked by two beautiful women?"_

"_This is just an excuse to let you suck him off, too," Sam chuckled in amusement. She knew that Jan was interested in the Colonel, but wouldn't do anything on her own because of Sam's feelings for the man._

"_Can you blame me?" Jan smiled._

"_No," Sam admitted. She made up her mind. "Alright, let's do it. If he says no, which I somehow doubt, we can go out and each find a guy to have some fun with."_

_Janet stood up. "I'm going home to get ready," she said, clearly eager for this. "Dress to make him want you the second he opens the door, Sam."_

"_I know just the thing," Sam told her._

_When Jan left Sam rushed to her bedroom and then went to the bathroom to take a nice, long, cleansing bath. If she was going to be having some _**real**_ fun with Jack O'Neill then she was going to perfectly ready._

_**Jack's Living Room**_

Janet shuddered in deep arousal as she felt the Colonel slip a long, thick finger into her pussy from behind. His attention to her tits was expert, and she knew that this was going to be good for at least one powerful orgasm before Sam had finished, possibly two. She could hear Sam lightly humming as she took in the Colonel's impressive cock, steadily taking him deeper and deeper. Janet envied Sam's deep throating abilities.

"Enjoying having Sam deep throat that cock of yours, Colonel?" Janet whispered huskily in his ear. "Or would you rather have it buried deep inside her tight little pussy? Sounds like a fun time, huh? Fucking a hot little pussy that you've been dreaming of and jacking off to for years?"

"Oh, God," Jack moaned as he took in one of Doc's nipples and nipped it and then spent some time suckling on the engorged nub, loving her sexy moans and groans as he did so.

Sam was amused at how Janet was getting Jack worked up with her dirty talk. She could feel his cock twitch in her mouth every time Janet egged him on. The only down side was that Sam was getting increasingly turned on with what Janet was saying. Jack's cock buried in her tight pussy? Jacking off for years thinking of her pussy and then getting to experience the real thing? Sam was half tempted to cut the blowjob short and impale herself on him right then. But she wanted to experience Jack letting loose a load of tasty cum in her mouth first. She'd already decided to fuck him once this was over and Janet left. The regs didn't satisfy a hot, wet, very aroused pussy on those lonely nights. It was tough restraining herself, but at least sucking on Jack's cock was a real pleasure in itself.

Jack was almost ready to explode. Damn Carter was a Master at giving blowjobs! Doc had been damn good, but Carter was blowing her out of the water, no pun intended. He worked on exploring Doc's body, though, as he was pretty sure that this would be his only chance to do that. He pumped two fingers in and out of her pussy, and bit down on her nipple, giving her a thrill as she shuddered and screamed in delight. Yep. Jack was a master at this game, too. He had some serious skills.

"If Sam wouldn't kill me I'd fuck you myself right now," Janet hissed in his ear, her body building up to a massive orgasm. "That long, thick cock of yours pounding my tight little pussy over and over again. But that beautiful cock of yours belongs to Sam and I expect you to fuck her senseless when I leave. Got it, Stud?" she told him. Then she whispered. "But if things don't work out and you want a nice, hot pussy to put that cock in on a lonely night, give me a call!"

Jack groaned. Well, at least he had two unbelievably hot options for the future! He felt Doc's pussy almost snap his fingers in two as she bore down on him when she had a big orgasm, her juices running down over his hand. Bringing her down slowly, he finally pulled his fingers out of her and brought them to his mouth, licking and sucking her juices off. Yum!

"God you taste great!" he told her.

Janet was leaning against him, her head against his as he purred and looked down at Sam who was really working over Jack's cock. She knew Jack was close.

"Come on, Sam," she encouraged her friend. "He's almost there. Make him cum! You'll love it. He tastes wonderful!"

Sam sped up her movements and finally she felt his cock lengthen and swell just as some hot, thick cum came shooting into her mouth. She savored the taste as she swallowed all he had to offer, massaging his balls as she did so. When the last tremors left his body she finished cleaning him up with her tongue and then let him slip from her mouth, grinning up at him. She winked at Jan who looked like she'd had a pretty damn good time, too.

"God that was a great treat," she sighed, placing some open mouthed kissed along the length of his cock. "So, Colonel, who gives the best blowjob?" she asked.

Jack looked down at her incredulously. She actually expected an answer when the other participant, naked against his side, was able to make him a living pin cushion if he disappointed her? He opened his mouth to try and say something.

_A/N: Well, there's Sam's scene. I hope you enjoyed it. I left it off there since the alternative epilogues take it from there. I should be posting the first epilogue, which is ending one, in a day or so. Thanks for sticking with this story. Gregg._


	5. 5  Ending 1

_Well, here's ending number one. As I've mentioned, I have a number of alternate endings I will be writing out and posting. They will range from serious to humorous, and all will be fun, I hope. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Ending #1**

"Uh, well, uh, I, uh, don't think I can answer that one," he said, a high pitched squeak in his voice.

"It's a simple question, Stud," Janet said in a husky, sexy tone. "Which of is sucks cock the best."

Sam almost burst out laughing at Jack's petrified look. She continued stroking his cock which was now a bit flaccid, but still impressive. Needless to say she was not very willing to let this little adventure end with only enjoying giving the Colonel a blowjob. She decided to see how he got himself out of this one, even though she knew that Janet was only giving him a bad time for the fun of it.

"But, Doc, no matter how I answer that one, I'm screwed," he tried to reason. "I say you and I face Carter's wrath, and she's blown up a damn star fer cryin' out loud! I say Carter and you turn me into a walking pin cushion! It's like a woman asking if a dress makes her look fat. There is no good answer! Either way the guy's totally fucked!"

"But this is a very important question, Jack," Janet continued. "We need to know that the guys were with when we go out for a good time are going to really enjoy what we have to offer."

"She's right, Colonel," Sam said, offering Janet a wink of amusement. She let her free hand move up and cup his balls, enjoying the feel of them.

"Then you two have nothing to fear," he told them. "You're both awesome. Definitely no problems in that department. Junior down there agrees wholeheartedly, I assure you."

"I have an idea," Sam said, taking pity on Jack, and knowing that Janet was only messing with him. This was the perfect opportunity to get what she really wanted. "How about I concede the contest and you can go out and find some willing guys to have some fun with, Janet, while I stay here and have sex with the Colonel all weekend?"

Jack's eyes bugged out as he looked down at Carter. "Do I get a vote on this one?" he asked. "Because I like that idea!"

"I don't know," Janet teased, already liking how Sam got what she wanted all along. "There aren't too many cocks out there to compete with the Colonel's."

"Uh, ladies?" Jack tried again.

"But, I guess I'll make do," Janet conceded. "He's all yours, Sam."

"Thank you," Sam grinned. She gave one final stroke to Jack's cock and stood up. "You ready for me to rock your world all weekend, Sir?" she asked.

Jack's eyes widened. "Oh, yeah!" he told her. He looked to the side at Janet. "Congratulations, Doc. You won, but don't worry. Carter will have one Hell of a consolation prize. So, uh, a little privacy so the festivities can begin?"

Janet chuckled as she got off the couch and pulled on her lingerie and clothes. She watched as Sam began kissing and licking her way up the Colonel's body. "Have a great weekend, Sam," she said as she left the room and made her way to the front door.

Sam looked down at the Colonel who she was now straddling, his cock pressed against the lips of her pussy. "I will, Jan," she called out. "And so will you," she told him as she bent her head down for a deep kiss.

_A/N: There it is. Ending number one. I hope you enjoyed it. The first of the alternate endings should be ready in a week or so. Gregg._


	6. Alternate Ending 1

_While it's been a while since I last updated this one, I have been working on some ideas for alternate endings for it, so here is the first one. I hope the humor of it is as enjoyable for you as it was for me coming up with it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Colonel Jack O'Neill stormed into the SGC on Monday morning on a mission. He had in his hand a clear plastic bag with an empty Guinness bottle in it and a sample cup with what looked like beer in it. He ignored the looks and bellowed _**Make a hole!**_ whenever he came on a group blocking the corridors. Oh, he was pissed! If what he thought had happened had actually happened then Space Monkey was a dead man!

He couldn't believe it. It had been so fucking real! Carter and Doc each giving him a blowjob so he could judge who gave the best one! Two totally _**HOT**_ women, one of whom he'd been in love with since day fucking one, each vying for his vote, had given it their all to make him one happy Colonel. Then what happens? Just as Carter is kissing him and about to impale herself on a very eager Junior he woke up! _HE WOKE UP!_ Not only that, but he was slouched on the couch, and he'd came in his shorts! He hadn't done that since he was a horny as Hell teenager! Someone had to pay for this one! But he needed proof. No sense getting court martialed for beating the Hell out of his best friend if it turned out there was nothing out of the ordinary with his Guinness, after all.

He barreled into the infirmary and waltzed right into Doc Frasier's office, catching her while she was having a cup of coffee. He halted right before her desk, but leaned back and shut the door. He had to ask her something first, just to make sure, and he didn't want any witnesses to his being sliced and diced if she didn't react too well.

"Colonel?" she asked as she looked up at him. "Is something wrong?"

Jack gulped. "Uh, yeah, Doc," he said finally. "I have to ask you something, but it won't sound so good."

Janet was a bit confused, especially as she noticed what he had in his hand. Shrugging, she decided to hear what he had to say. "Alright," she told him. She leaned back in her chair and gave him her attention.

"Did you and Carter come over to my place Saturday and ask me to judge which of you two gives the better blowjob?" he said it as quickly, and bluntly as he could. If he was going to become a Eunuch then he'd rather get it over with quickly and not delay the inevitable.

Janet's eyes widened in shock, and also total amusement. "Excuse me?" she said, not quite sure she'd heard him right. "Did you just ask if me and Sam came over and sucked you off?" she asked, not even trying to use clean language.

Jack wanted to crawl into the nearest hole in the ground and die. Instead he explained everything, not leaving out any details, and then set the bottle and specimen cup on the desk.

"I knew it was too good to be true," he told her. "I want that bottle tested and also the remaining beer from it. I want to know if it was laced, and if it was, then Space Monkey is going to be permanently in the Soprano section when I get through with him."

Janet had to try very hard to keep from laughing. The whole scenario was one that her lascivious mind, and body, would have loved to be real, but the fact that someone had obviously done something to the Colonel was priceless. And the end result! She took the plastic bag with the bottle and sample of beer.

"I can have a result for you in an hour," she told him. She decided to put him out of his misery, though, on one point. "Oh, and Colonel? Sam wasn't with any guy this weekend. She had a seminar to deliver at the Academy."

Jack mentally sighed in relief, and valiantly kept himself from doing a fist pump and loudly shouting _**YES!**_ at the top of his lungs. He caught Frasier's eye and nodded. Then he left the office and made his way to the commissary to have some cake.

When he left, and she knew he was out of the Infirmary, Janet burst out laughing. If Daniel had done what the Colonel suspected this was one joke for the ages. Picking up her phone she called Sam's lab and told her to come down to her office. She had a doozy of a story to tell her. Then she had a lab tech take the bottle and beer for testing.

Jack was still in the commissary when the results came back. Frasier called him to the Infirmary and he rushed down there and came to a screeching halt when he saw Carter in the Doc's office.

"You _**told**_ her?" he groaned, and noticed the very amused smile on Carter's face.

"She did, Sir," Carter told him, loving the look on the Colonel's face. The whole story was priceless. It also gave her a twinge between her legs and she resolved to have a talk with Hammond that week and hopefully get the frat regs changed for SGC Personnel. She loved her couple of times a year weekend dalliances, but they were getting more and more unsatisfying emotionally.

"She's my best friend, Colonel, and the incident in question did involve both her and I in some fashion," Janet pointed out.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Jack whined. Then he calmed down. "Alright, what's the word, Doc?"

"Your beer was laced with a powerful hallucinogen," Janet informed him. "I won't bore you with the name or lengthy explanations, but someone definitely laced your beer, Colonel."

"Space Monkey is a dead man!" Jack fumed. Shooting off in his own damn shorts! No one does that to him and lives!

"But that's not the best part, Colonel," Janet continued, a smile on her face.

"There's more?" Jack gulped. If he was impotent because of this he would make Danny Boy suffer for an eternity!

"Oh, yes," Sam's eyes twinkled.

"This particular hallucinogen is designed to give a hallucination of what someone actually desires," Janet explained.

Jack's eyes widened. "You mean...?" he trailed off.

"That's right, Colonel," Janet chuckled. "You really do want Sam and me to have a blowjob contest with you as the judge."

"And I'm talking to Hammond this week about having the frat regs removed for the SGC," Sam told him.

"Uh, not to sound dense, but, uh, what are you saying?" Jack asked, hoping like Hell it was what he thought it was.

"The regs get changed and you have one afternoon with both of us, and then you and I begin a relationship," Sam told him.

"And it won't be just a blowjob you get from both of us," Janet added, a sly grin on her face.

Jack's eyes glazed over at the mental images that were now pouring in. "Space Monkey won't die, but he will be punished for messing with my Guinness," he said finally. "Let me know when the festivities can begin!" he said as he walked out whistling the tune for _**Oh Happy Day!**_

Sam and Janet looked at each other and burst out laughing, though each were looking forward to the _**festivities**_, as the Colonel called them.

_**One Week Later:**_

Daniel was wondering what the Hell was going on. Upon coming back through the Stargate he had been immediately grabbed by two burly SF's and hauled down here to a cell in the brig. Not a holding cell, but an actual cell with bars and everything. He was beginning to wonder if his little joke on Jack had been discovered.

"Ah, there's the prisoner now," Jack said from the door to the brig. "Messing with your best friend and CO's Guinness is a major no no, Space Monkey, for which you have to pay the Piper."

"Alright, Jack, you've had your fun now let me out of here," Daniel insisted. "I've got a lot of work to do and I need to speak to General Hammond about a permanent science team on the planet Teal'c and I were on."

"You've got one week, Danny Boy, to cook your jets in here," Jack decreed. "No books, and you're on bread and water for the duration."

"What!" Daniel yelled.

"But, seeing as your little prank had some very positive results for me and Carter, I will provide you with some entertainment," Jack smiled.

"My laptop?" Daniel asked, hoping beyond hope that that was the case.

"Better, Space Monkey!" Jack crowed in delight. He hauled in a television and DVD player. "I brought my collection of season sets for the Simpsons! You get round the clock Simpsons, 24/7 for the next five days! And then you get to spend two days, also 24/7, listening to Teal'c give a very detailed, in depth, analysis of all six Star Wars films, the novels, and the comics! You're one lucky guy, Danny Boy! Imagine all that awesome entertainment just for you!"

"Joy," Daniel muttered, wondering if he had any way of getting some cyanide capsules so he could end the nightmare once and for all.

"Have fun, Space Monkey, and don't worry," Jack told him. "The guards have standing orders to keep the TV on, the volume up, and the episodes playing so you don't miss a single one for the next five days!"

Daniel stared in horror as Jack turned on the TV, clicked on the first disc and left the room. Then the horrid tones of the Simpson's theme song burst forth. He was definitely in Hell!

_A/N: There's alternate ending number one. I hope you enjoyed it as Jack still got the prize, despite the lacing of his Guinness, and Daniel gets the full torture treatment courtesy of Jack. The next ending should be ready in a few more days. Gregg._


	7. Alternate Ending 2

_Sorry for the long delay in writing this new alternate ending, but real life and other projects took a bit of priority. In this one I am going purely for the humor of it all, so this short one is way out there, in my opinion. Takes place immediately after the end of chapter 5. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Jack was kissing Carter as he felt her slide down over Junior, her hot, moist, tight sheath enveloping him like nothing he had ever experienced. He was still almost on the verge of pinching himself to see if this was real, or some laced Guinness hallucination for which Space Monkey needed to die over. Just as he was about to really slam home and show Carter what a horny, virtual monklike Colonel was capable of in the sack department, a bright white light flashed and enveloped him.

Carter collapsed, cursing the suddenly empty feeling she had, but also knowing what she had to do. She reached over and grabbed her cell phone, punching one on the speed dial.

"This is Major Carter," she said firmly. "Colonel O'Neill has been transported by an Asgard transport beam. Alert General Hammond and I will be at the SGC ASAP."

She quickly got her skimpy clothes back on and rushed out the door. She only hoped that the Colonel didn't kill Thor.

Jack appeared on the Bridge of the Asgard ship and fell right on his ass. He groaned. This couldn't be happening. He'd told Thor time and time again that he needed to give a fella a little warning before the whole Beam Me Up business. And did it have to be _**NOW**_? Before he had a chance to continue with his thoughts, and also open his eyes, he heard a very familiar voice.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

Oh, no. This just made this all worse.

"Yes, General?" he asked, not even wanting to look at his commanding officer.

"Is there some reason that you were beamed here to meet with myself, the President, and Commander Thor naked and, ahem, aroused?" Hammond asked. If it hadn't been for the fact that the President was with them he would be laughing his ass off, but he had to maintain discipline when the Commander-in-Chief was present.

Jack still hadn't opened his eyes. "The President, Sir?" he asked, wishing at that moment that this was in fact a laced Guinness hallucination.

"That would be me, Colonel," the President said from beside General Hammond.

Jack opened one eye and saw the two men in question. He groaned and stood up, placing his hands in front of Junior who was still showing signs of life, which wasn't surprising since the memory of the scent and feel of being inside of Carter was fresh in his and Junior's memory.

Jack looked over at Thor and gave his little grey friend a rather peevish look. "Thor...Buddy...haven't we had this little chat before about calling ahead?" he asked, trying not to run screaming at Thor and seriously maim the little guy.

"We have, but given the short time frame and the importance of this meeting, I deemed it expedient to simply transport you directly from where you were," Thor replied, not really considering the reasons that O'Neill may be upset. After all, Asgard don't wear clothes, and Thor had never really understood the social mores regarding such coverings.

"Considering that I am right now mooning my own planet, I think you need to beam me down to my house so I can get some clothes on," Jack said through clenched teeth.

"As you wish," Thor said and moved a stone on his arm rest, sending O'Neill back to where he had been beamed from.

Hammond and the President looked at each other and broke out laughing. The two hadn't had something this good to laugh about in a long time. Hammond was already thinking of all the fun he could have with this one. Getting one over on Jack O'Neill was not easy, after all. Now Hammond had some leverage.

Jack reappeared in his living room, and looked around. Naturally a gloriously naked Carter was nowhere to be found. Likely she was at the base trying to find out what had totally ruined the festivities. Not one to take any chances, he picked up the half empty bottle of Guinness and took a tentative sniff. Nope. Just like earlier. Nothing wrong there. He sighed. Picking up his clothes, he went to his bedroom to change into something more presentable and then he would let Thor know that he was ready to be beamed back up. He also was going to be giving Thor a refresher course on the time honored custom of calling ahead. His Little Buddy obviously still needed some help understanding the concept. As it was he sent up a silent prayer that Carter would be willing to come back and finish that whole weekend sex fest promise. If not, then all bets were off and Thor was going to be one dead alien. He was never going to live this one down.

_A/N: There it is. Short, but fun. I may write a companion piece to this one in which Carter's side is told, but I haven't decided yet. I hope you enjoyed this new ending. Gregg._


End file.
